Sarcasm Dictionary

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Dork

n.( dôrk): someone who is slow-witted and socially-inept, completely fails to get really cool stuff. If the dork is aware that they are a dork, then it’s funny. If not, then it’s painful to watch. Often confused with Nerd and Geek but they are not the same. Dorks are at the bottom of the GND hierarchy.

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Nerd

n.( nərd): (1) someone who’s IQ exceed his/her weight. Single-minded, obsessive, and socially inept but understands and collect really cool stuff; Often confused with Geek and Dork but they are different. Nerds are at the middle of the (Geek/Nerd/Dork) GND hierarchy.

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Geek

n.( ɡēk): (1) someone who understands, creates and fixes really cool stuff; (2) the person you teased in school that ends up signing your paychecks. Often confused with Nerds but they are better than them. In fact, Geeks at the top of the (Geek/Nerd/Dork) GND hierarchy. See Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Page.

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Superbowl

(n.) NFL championship game, where we see 30 second clips of men running in between over-hyped commercials

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Animal Rights

A modern concept, which applies only to animals with the following characteristics: rare, pretty, big, cute, furry, huggable, or lovable. Animals with Rights: Cats, Dogs, Dolphins, Whales, Cute bunnies, Panda Animals without Rights: Cockroaches, flies, sharks, tuna in tuna nets, scorpions, ants

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Mortgage

Modern Day serf certificate. In old French, it meant “Death Pledge.”

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Islam

n. (1) Barbaric cult disguised as a religion; (2) Totalitarian ideology. Synonyms: Intolerance, Violence, Terrorism

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George W. Bush

(n.) Republican Carter who all of a sudden looked pretty good after Trump

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Dog

n. (1) four-legged, domesticated mammal with full animal rights. Smarter than cats, less smarter than monkeys, elephants, and whales; (2) Best friend for the lonely people, and families with kids and SUV; (3) Number#1 pet in the U.S.

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Common Sense

n. (kämən ˈsens) (1) A rare form of judgement in practical manners, only 1 in 50,000 are born with it; (2) Captain Obvious; (3) like a deodorant, the people who need it most, never use it.

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