negativenancy

Voted

Middle Age

(n.) That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it

Journalism

(n.) The art of filling the blank spaces between the adds

Quality Assurance Tester

(n.) Someone who makes people feel bad about their work

Baseball Umpire

(n.) A guy who stands on a field and gets yelled at for hours

Divorce Lawyer

(n.) Someone who helps people hate each other

Attorney

(n.) A professional who takes a simple two-way promise and turns it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill

Pilot

(n.) An airline employee who spends most of the day looking out the window

Zoo

(n.) Animal Concentration Camp

Sharia

(n.) A framework of Islamic laws terrorists must follow

CNN

(abbr.) Corrupt National Network

Alaska

(n.) A state where you can’t actually see Russia from your backyard

Slug

(n.) Naked snail

Virginia

(n.) A state of wealthy hicks

Children

(n.) Small people whose ability to get into more trouble should never be underestimated

Sleeping pill

(n.) the act of decorating your bedroom to look like a classroom