C

Light bulb jokes

(phr.) The opportunity to offend anybody you don’t like

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  • Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other
    screws the bulb into the water faucet.

  • Q: How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

  • Q: How many gay men does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

  • Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. It turned itself in

  • Q: How many taxi drivers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to screw it in and one to overcharge for the bulb

  • Q: How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: None. They all just imagine they’ve seen the light.

  • Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the
    bathtub with brightly colored machine tools

  • Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. Thats a hardware problem.

  • Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but they get three papers out of it.

  • Q: How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: Just one. He holds the lightbulb and the universe revolves around
    him.

  • Q: How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: None they just beat the room for being black.

  • Q: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones’ butt.

  • Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None, the sockets go with the house.

  • Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: How many can you afford?

  • Q: How many med students does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder
    out from under him.

  • C

    -How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

    -Don’t be stupid, feminists can’t change anything.

  • Q: How many baseball players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: None. They’re too busy arguing the last call.

  • Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

  • Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One. Men will screw anything