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Antiques

(n.) Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Airplane

a flying passenger vehicle which can only operate if you put your tray tables away and return your seats to the upright position.

Arkansas

(n.) Meth and Horse races

Assistant Horse Trainer

(n.) Someone who cleans up an animal that makes more money than him in a year

Antique Shop

(n.) A junk store that has raised its prices

Aggressive

(adj.) an adjective with relative meaning to define success of a person unless he’s republican. If a democrat acts aggressively, he’s assertive. For anyone else, it’s offensive.

Advertisement

(n.) The art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need

American Dream

(n.) The kind of lifestyle where you work long, hard jobs you hate to enable to buy things you can't afford and to own material possessions you don't need in order to impress people you don't like

Alcohol

(n.) Problem for optimists, solution for pessimists

African-American

(adj.) : A PC term started to be used in the late '80s to describe Americans having African ancestors. The rationale was not judge people by the color of their skin. The inventors of the term argued you should be identified by where your ancestors are from. Technically, any person from the African continent should be called African-American, such as North African countries like Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, and Egypt but that's not the kind of African-American we mean. That is, we're really talking about skin color, but we're pretending that we aren't. read more [....]

Alabama

(n.) A bad version of Mississippi

An apple a day

(phr.) An action which is supposed to keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough

Abbreviation

(n.) Long word with, ironically, no obvious shorter alternative

Americans

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Artist

(n.) people with a strict dress code of black attire