A

Alcohol

(n.) Problem for optimists, solution for pessimists

Ant

(n.) A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics

Arithmetic

(n.) Being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes

Antique

(n.) An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you're buying again

Academia

(n.) A place where faculty pretend to work and administrators pretend to pay

Argument

(n.) A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but the other person hasn’t realized it yet

Angela Merkel

(n.) German Hillary

Altar

(n.) Place where a man loses control of himself

Acrimony

(n.) The holy state of being married

Awe

(n.) Wow of silence

Antique Shop

(n.) A junk store that has raised its prices

Appendix

(n.) A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use

Assembly Line

(n.) The concept that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 10,000 times a day