A

Antiques

(n.) Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Alphabet

(n.) A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and soup

Academy Awards

(n.) A place where high school dropouts give each other politically correct trophies

Arson

(n.) Fire caused by friction between the insurance policy and the mortgage

Abstract Logic

(n.) 1. See definition two. 2. See definition one

Adolescence

(n.) A period in which children begin to question the answers

Admiral

(n.) A general at sea

Artichoke

(n.) The only vegetable you have more of when you finish eating it, than you had when you started

Americans

image

Astronomer

(n.) Night watchman

Ambassador

(n.) An honest man sent to lie abroad for his country’s behalf

Argument

(n.) An exchange of ignorance

April 1

(n.) The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364

Alabama

(n.) Hell Yes, They Have Electricity

Arkansas

(n.) A state where literacy ain't everything