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Airline employee

(n.) Someone with a confused face at a monitor

Apple Store

(n.) A jewelry store for tech-inept millennials to buy overpriced status symbols

Alzheimer

(n.) A medical condition which gives you an opportunity to meet new people every day

Alaska

(n.) A state where you can’t actually see Russia from your backyard

Antiques Dealer

(n.) Somebody who manages waste recycling, promotion & sales

Attorney

(n.) A professional who takes a simple two-way promise and turns it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill

Advertisement

(n.) the art of making people who are already rich somewhat richer by duping poor people into buying stuff they don't need

Assistant Horse Trainer

(n.) Someone who cleans up an animal that makes more money than him in a year

Average

(adj.) The poorest of the good and the best of the bad

Ambulance

(n.) A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is.

Antique Shop

(n.) An overpriced junk store

Academic

(n.) A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor

Anatomy

(n.) A med class that excites all men until they find out what it really involves

Administrative Assistant

(n.) A glorified secretary who enables people to be lazy and stupid for years

Alcoholic

(n.) A person who drinks more than his doctor