A

Andy Warhol

(n.) A deeply superficial person

Argument

Picture

Ambassador

(n.) An honest man sent to lie abroad for his country’s behalf

Antiques Dealer

(n.) Somebody who manages waste recycling, promotion & sales

Assembly Line

(n.) The concept that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 10,000 times a day

A clean house

(n.) the sign of a broken computer

Arnold Schwarzenegger

(n.) A crossover between orangutan and neanderthal who would make Hitler very proud

Ant

(n.) A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics

Advanced

(v.) the state of being fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm,and Profanity, and not necessarily in that order

Allowance

(n.) Annual payment to your kid to live with you

Astronomer

(n.) Night watchman

Attorney

(n.) A professional who takes a simple two-way promise and turns it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill

Appendix

(n.) A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use

Academic Research

(n.) Finding 10,000 ways that don't work

Affirmative Action Boss

(n.) Someone who is a walking ego with an attitude problem