A

ACLU

(abbr.) Anti-White Civil Liberties Union

A clean house

(n.) the sign of a broken computer

Arnold Schwarzenegger

(n.) A crossover between orangutan and neanderthal who would make Hitler very proud

Ant

(n.) A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics

As we speak

(phr.) Your boss knows something that’s going on real-time, but no one told you about it and you really wish they had.

Advanced

(v.) the state of being fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm,and Profanity, and not necessarily in that order

Allowance

(n.) Annual payment to your kid to live with you

Astronomer

(n.) Night watchman

Applied Terror

The night before the English History midterm, your professor will assign 200 pages of new material

Apology

(n.) solid foundation for future offense

Attorney

(n.) A professional who takes a simple two-way promise and turns it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill

Appendix

(n.) A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use

Activist

(n.) a person who passionately believes to a cause until they get rich

Academic Research

(n.) Finding 10,000 ways that don't work

Affirmative Action Boss

(n.) Someone who is a walking ego with an attitude problem