(n.) A place where you bake in the dirt with a bunch of sweaty half-naked strangers

(n.) Something you can safely assume that your parents started their new year with if you’re born in September

(v.) Being thankful to your teacher who instilled in you such a love of English that you’re perpetually mortified when reading the internet

(n.) The day you get as much attention and praise as an average millennial feels entitled to every day

(adj.) the ability to reach down someone’s pants and be satisfied with whatever you find

(n.) An all purpose furniture where you sleep, read, study, eat, and watch TV

(n.) A physical condition that nobody in a beer commercial possesses

(n.) An ancient fictitious book which was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat

(n.) a Chinese with Parkinson disease

(n.) The last thing to run through Osama Bin Laden’s mind

(n.) A dyslexic man’s definition of Bar

(n.) Someone with Down syndrome who smokes weed

(n.) Big Money Wasted

(n.) The only thing in nature that travels faster than light

(n.) A governmental entity where accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper used