(phr.) you're dumb or otherwise impaired, but you can't help it

(n.) The apparatus with which we think that we think

(phr.) The thing your kid gets from the other side of the family

(n.) A system that enables ten people to do the work of one

(n.) The main reason you’re a vegetarian

(n.) The last thing to run through Osama Bin Laden’s mind

(n.) A person who gets paid to tell people where to get off

The First Discovery of Christmas Morning

(conj.) A conjunctional point from which everything will go south

(n.) A guy who stands on a field and gets yelled at for hours

(n.) A politician who has tenure

Something you write on someone’s posted picture while thinking she’s an ugly, obnoxious bitch

(n.) a fly with a fur coat

(n.) A man who can get out of bed from either side

(n.) The body part that every item of clothing makes “look bigger