C

Common Sense

n. (kämən ˈsens) (1) A rare form of judgement in practical manners, only 1 in 50,000 are born with it; (2) Captain Obvious; (3) like a deodorant, the people who need it most, never use it.

Christmas

(proper noun). The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead or plastic tree, eat candy out of socks, and listen 50's music.

Cell phone

(noun):  a portable communication device for use in a cellular system for the following reasons: 48.5% social media, 21.7% texting, 6.2% awkward situation avoider, 3.2% flashlight, and 0.1% actually calling people

Cupcake

(n.) A muffin with low self esteem

Calories

(n.) Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night

Committee

(n.): A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary

Criticism

(noun): unjust self-esteem reducer

Conference room

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on

Consultant

(n.) someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it confusing

Crowd

(n.) a place where people act differently than when they are alone

Conclusion

noun [con·clu·sion]: the state where you get tired of thinking

Children’s Paradox

If it tastes good, you can't have it. If it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Coffee

(n.) the reason to wake up early in the morning

Committee

(n.) a life form with six or more legs and no brain

Character vs. Reputation

Character is what you are; reputation is what others think you are