C

Coffee

(n.) the reason to wake up early in the morning

Chocolate

(n.) Legally distributed drug which makes you gain weight

Computer

(n.) A device which calculates how much time you spend on a porn site

Cigarette

(n.) A bit of tobacco with a fire at one end and a fool at the other

Cancer

(n.) The ultimate conclusion of your internet research about your flu symptoms (see hypochondriac)

Corkscrew

(n.) a device used to start a social interaction

US Chemistry

See Venn Diagram

Camping

(v.) Spending significant amount of time and money in order to live like a homeless person

Cell phone

(noun):  a portable communication device for use in a cellular system for the following reasons: 48.5% social media, 21.7% texting, 6.2% awkward situation avoider, 3.2% flashlight, and 0.1% actually calling people

Corporation

(n.) An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility

Cemetery

(n.) A place where everybody is dying to get into

Conservative

(n.) A liberal who has just been mugged

College

video

Committee

(n.) a life form with six or more legs and no brain

California

(n.) United States version of Mexico