D
Diaphragm
(n.) A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels
Domesticated Husband
(n.) A person who thinks twice before saying nothing
Dinner
(n.) Last official meal of the day which is responsible for the 95% of your weight
Diagnosis
(n.) A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse
Diploma
(n.) A job-hunting license
Desertion
(n.) The poor man’s divorce
Dead wife
(n.) Something easy to figure out. The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
Diaper
(n.) A changeable seat cover for babies and seniors
Diet
(n.) The penalty for exceeding the weight limit
Detour
(n.) The roughest distance between two points.
December
(n.) The most capitalist month of the year
Dachshund
(n.) An animal that is half a dog high by a dog and a half long
Diet
(n.) A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of ten pounds
Dictatorship
(n.) A governing system where everything that isn’t forbidden is obligatory
Diamond
(n.) One of the hardest substances known to man – especially the payments