F

Fitness

(n.) Salvation through perspiration

Footnote

(n.) Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Fettuccine Alfredo

(n.) Macaroni and cheese for adults

Free Delivery

(n.) Pedophiles favorite part about Halloween

Foreign Aid

(n.) The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries

Father in Law

(n.) A priest with a Law Degree

Future

(n.) A timeframe similar to the past except you die in it

Fish

(n.) An animal that grows the fastest between the time it is caught and the time the fisherman describes it to his friends

Father’s Day

(n.) the third Sunday in June appointed for the honoring of milkmen, tv repair guys, and poolboys

Fsh

(n.) A fish with no eyes

Foosball

(n.) A combination of soccer and shish kabobs

Freedom of Marriage

(n.) The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases

Fat free

(phr.) No extra charge for the fat

Futuristic

(adj.) bullshitting without consequence

Family Planning

(n.) Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters