F

Focus

(v.) the term your boss uses when he’s annoyed with you

Filing Cabinet

(n.) A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Freudian Slip

(phr.) An expression where you say one thing but mean your mother

Feminism

(n.) the doctrine advocating ignorance, confrontation, irritation, and single life

Fettuccine Alfredo

(n.) Macaroni and cheese for adults

Fugly

(adj.) the state of being fucking ugly

Funeral

(n.) A dying industry

Father

(n.) ATM machine

Family Planning

(n.) Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters

Fifty

(n.) Seven-year old in dog years

Footnote

(n.) Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Science Fair

Parents talent competition

F

(letter) The only difference between a Politician and a Flying Pig

Foreword

(n.) An author’s apology