G

Gourmet

(n.) A food fetishist

Gang rape

(phr.) something 9 out of 10 people enjoy

Grad School

(n.) A place to postpone adult responsibilities

Guilty

(adj.) A black man in a suit

Grandmother

(n.) Free baby sitter

Girdle

(n.) The difference between fact and figure

Golf

(n.) A long walk interrupted by disappointment and bad math

Great American

(phr.) What speakers call somebody when they can’t think of anything special to say.

Guest towel

(n.) A small square of non-absorbent fabric surrounded by waterproof embroidery.

Good girls

(n.) Bad girls who never got caught

Groom

(n.) The adoption of an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore

Garden

(n.) Something that dies if you don’t water it, and rots if you do

Groan

(n.) An expression of appreciation for the horrible

Government

(n.) An entity that condemns gambling and promotes lottery numbers

Gifted Children

(n.) Unfortunate kids who couldn't hide their talents from overly ambitious parents