H
Husband
(n.) Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house
Home Alone
video
Humility
(n.) The ability to act ashamed when you tell people how great you are
Hospital Bed
(n.) A parked taxi with the meter running
Hypochondriac
(n.) One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better
Hilarious
(adj.) Something which becomes the fact after someone gets hurt. Before then it’s just funny.
Hors d’oeuvres
(n.) A sandwich cut into 20 pieces
Husband
(n.) A person who listens attentively while she says nothing
Hijab
(n.) An Islamic dress code which represents oppression, male-domination, captivity, dependence, violence, intolerance, murder, pedophilia, and sexual perversion
Honeymoon
(n.) The last vacation a man takes before starting to work for a new boss
Hair Salon
(n.) A place where women curl up and dye
Ham and Eggs
(n.) A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig
Huffington Post
(n.) A compilation of junk blog posts and anti-white racist rants
Helicopter
(n.) A million parts rotating rapidly around an oil leak waiting for metal fatigue to set in
Hero
(n.) One who couldn't run away and got trapped