H

Home Alone

video

Husband

(n.) Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house

Hope

(n.) a necessary ingredient for disappointment

Houseplants

(n.) Vegetable companions

heyy

Image

Idiot

(n.) Something that you become if you make a mistake but if your wife makes the same mistake, she's only human

Hospital Bed

(n.) A parked taxi with the meter running

Hollywood Stars

(n.) Miraculous transformation of 0.01% of high-school dropout busboys, waiters, waitresses, and low-budget porn movie actresses.

Hair Salon

(n.) A place where women curl up and dye

Be humble

(phr.) You’re not that great

Husband

(n.) Tenured Boyfriend (also see Wife)

Hangry

(adj.) When you are so hungry that your lack of food causes you to become angry and frustrated, or both

Hunger

(n.) Something a good salesman and a good repairman will never face

Humility

(n.) The ability to act ashamed when you tell people how great you are

Headache

(n.) a physical symptom you feel when watching mainstream media