M

Murphisized

When you run to your gate at the airport but then the line takes longer than expected so you're just standing there sweating awkwardly

Mission Statement

(n.) A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly

Merriam-Webster

(n.) White people’s dictionary

Marketing

(n.) The art of selling a product that doesn't cost much to produce in such a way that people will take out a small loan to own it

Misnomer

(n.) The right name for the wrong word

Minnesota

(n.) United States version of Canada

Meeting new people

(phr.) A chance to recycle all your old jokes

Money can’t buy happiness

(phr.) jealous justification of poor people who have no imagination

Moses

(n.) someone who has the first tablet that could connect to the cloud

MOS

(text) Mom over the shoulder

Meaningless

(adj.) a white crayon

Mouse

(n.) An input device designed to make computer errors easier to generate

Angela Merkel

(n.) German Hillary

Maine

(n.) Half yuppie, half hillbilly, half Stephen King

Mathematics

(n.) the art of giving the same name to different things