M

Millennial

(n.) Lazy, unemployed, entitled, social-media obsessed, narcissist generation who still live with their parents

Martyred

(v.) The result of Microsoft Word Auto-correction of the word “Married”

Morality

(n.) An instinctive sense of right and wrong that tells some people how everyone else should behave

Mosquito

(n.) an excuse to hit your friends you secretly hate

Money

(n.) A reminder that you cannot piss your parents off

Millennials

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Maryland

(n.) If you can dream it, they can tax it

Money

(n.) The only obstacle between people and wealth

Jewish mother

(phr.) The person who appreciates nothing and regrets everything

Mathematics of Relationships

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

Middle Age

(n.) When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her

Multitasking

(n.) an activity where you can pee, fart, and cough at the same time

Miracle

(n.) A GM car at the top of a hill

Monogamy

(n.) A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another

Mississippi

(n.) Low Altitude, Lower standards, humid weather