M

Marriage License

(n.) A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man

Useless

(adj.) Telling your dog that he’s adopted

Mathematics

(n.) the art of giving the same name to different things

Money

(n.) The only obstacle between people and wealth

Market leader

(n.) Recently started to make profit

Microbiologist

(n.) Someone who moves things from one tube to another (see also pharmacist)

Monarch

(n.) A king with a good PR

Mainstream Media

(n.) United States version of Soviet Pravda

Merit

(n.) What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter to marry

Marriage

(n.) A relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband

Middle Age

(phr.) A point in your life when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one

Mission Statement

(n.) A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly

MOS

(text) Mom over the shoulder

Morality

(n.) An instinctive sense of right and wrong that tells some people how everyone else should behave

Middle Age

(n.) When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her