M

Useless

(adj.) Telling your dog that he’s adopted

Macho Law

(n.) Universal rule which forbids men from admitting they're wrong

Merit

(n.) What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter to marry

Mainstream Media

(n.) United States version of Soviet Pravda

Monarch

(n.) A king with a good PR

Microbiologist

(n.) Someone who moves things from one tube to another (see also pharmacist)

Market leader

(n.) Recently started to make profit

Money

(n.) The only obstacle between people and wealth

Mathematics

(n.) the art of giving the same name to different things

Meeting new people

(phr.) A chance to recycle all your old jokes

Middle age

(n.) Coming to a point in your life where you need a stronger word than fuck

Meh

(int.) The universal, non-committal answer to any question ever posed

Memory Loss

(n.) A condition where your doctor forces you to pay in advance

Marriage

(n.) A relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband

Milk shake

(n.) a white man with Parkinson disease