M

Middle age woman

(phr.) The time frame of a woman who's hair starts turning from gray to black

Marriage License

(n.) A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man

Useless

(adj.) Telling your dog that he’s adopted

Mexico

(n.) a place where ugly American women go to feel pretty, sexy, and fit

Money

Image

Money doesn’t grow on trees

(phr.) I'm buying a new handbag for myself

John McCain

(n.) darling of the mainstream media such as NYT, WaPo, CNN, et al. until the day he became the GOP candidate for president. Then, almost overnight, he became an angry, unstable, vindictive warmonger with no executive experience and completely bereft of the temperament needed to be president. Then, almost overnight again, he became darling war hero once he was opposed to Trump

Milk shake

(n.) a white man with Parkinson disease

Microagression

A mental illness, often suffered by college students , who believe that anything and everything is offensive. Also see snowflakes

New Mexico

(n.) Poor and proud

Mainstream Media

(n.) United States version of Soviet Pravda

Meth

(n.) Poor man’s cocaine

Matryoshka

(n.) Russian dolls who are full of themselves