M
Millennial
(n.) Lazy, unemployed, entitled, social-media obsessed, narcissist generation who still live with their parents
Martyred
(v.) The result of Microsoft Word Auto-correction of the word “Married”
Morality
(n.) An instinctive sense of right and wrong that tells some people how everyone else should behave
Mosquito
(n.) an excuse to hit your friends you secretly hate
Money
(n.) A reminder that you cannot piss your parents off
Millennials
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Maryland
(n.) If you can dream it, they can tax it
Money
(n.) The only obstacle between people and wealth
Jewish mother
(phr.) The person who appreciates nothing and regrets everything
Mathematics of Relationships
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
Middle Age
(n.) When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her
Multitasking
(n.) an activity where you can pee, fart, and cough at the same time
Miracle
(n.) A GM car at the top of a hill
Monogamy
(n.) A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another
Mississippi
(n.) Low Altitude, Lower standards, humid weather