M

Metabolism

(n.) a biological entity to blame by default when you gain weight

Mattress

(n.) A furniture you must buy at Memorial Day

Love, Lust, and Marriage

LOVE when your eyes meet across a crowded room LUST when your tongues meet across a crowded room MARRIAGE when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care

Multitasking

(v.) Screwing up several things at once

Montana

(n.) a place to die in a freak bear accident

Monarch

(n.) A king with a good PR

Mexico

(n.) a place where ugly American women go to feel pretty, sexy, and fit

Money

Image

Money doesn’t grow on trees

(phr.) I'm buying a new handbag for myself

John McCain

(n.) darling of the mainstream media such as NYT, WaPo, CNN, et al. until the day he became the GOP candidate for president. Then, almost overnight, he became an angry, unstable, vindictive warmonger with no executive experience and completely bereft of the temperament needed to be president. Then, almost overnight again, he became darling war hero once he was opposed to Trump

Milk shake

(n.) a white man with Parkinson disease

Microagression

A mental illness, often suffered by college students , who believe that anything and everything is offensive. Also see snowflakes

New Mexico

(n.) Poor and proud

Mainstream Media

(n.) United States version of Soviet Pravda