P

Philosophy

(n.) A study which enables people to be unhappy more intelligently

Passive Aggressive

See the chart

Positive Thinking

(b.) Self-improvement through self-deception

Pilot

(n.) An airline employee who spends most of the day looking out the window

Plagiarism

(n.) Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft

Pessimist

(n.) Someone who's blood type is B Negative

Psychiatrist

(n.) A head coach

Psychotic

(n.) A condition if you’re not religious and God talks to you

Pacifist

(n.) A person who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight

Pizza Delivery Boy

(n.) A guy who goes to strange people's houses and takes their money

Positive Thinking

(n.) Self-improvement through self-deception

Pal

(n.) Walking into someone’s house and your Wi-Fi connects automatically

Parole

(n.) A period at the end of a sentence

Past

(n.) Something which is divided between the things you can’t remember, and the things you don’t want to