S

Self-respect

(n.) The secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious

Shoplifter

(n.) Undocumented Shopper

Slogan

(n.) A good old substitute for the facts

Specialist

(n.) A man who knows more and more about less and less

Science

(n.) An orderly and systematic arrangement of factual information

Statistics

(n.) the art of never having to say you’re wrong

Shoe Cleaner

(n.) the bristles on the side of an escalator

Starbucks

(n.) The employment agency for Liberal Arts majors

Social Justice

(phr.) A mental illness, seen mostly in college students who think it’s cool and fashionable to be entitled, disruptive, impulsive, hyperactive, violent, racist, fascist, and possess oppositional behaviors.

Stalemate

(n.) A leading cause of divorce.

Sharia

(n.) A framework of Islamic laws terrorists must follow

Strip Poker

(n.) A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it

Sarcasm

(n. ) the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Siblings

(n.) a reminder that your parents had sex more than once