T

Thursday

(n.) the day you could have sworn was Friday

Teenagers

(n.) People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike

Tomorrow

(n.) A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement are stored

Toilet paper

(n.) the only object that deals with assholes on a daily basis

Justin Trudeau

(n.) Angela Merkel's Canadian girlfriend

Thorough

(adj.) an adjective with relativity to appreciate and praise your wife to be extremely attentive to accuracy and detail. For example, when you take a long time, you're slow. When your wife takes a long time, she's thorough.

Tourist

(n.) A person in china who doesn't eat dog

Theory

(n.) a place when you know everything but nothing works

Teacher

(n.) A person who swore he would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since

Trophy Wife

(phr.) A blond female with long legs, big boobs, and shopping addiction

Toothache

(n.) The pain that drives you to extraction

Troops

(n.) Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets for the 1%

Technical Support

(n.) A Mumbai resident who does precision guess work based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge

Table Saw

(n.) Expensive storage surface used to store unfinished projects in your basement

Thanksgiving

(n.) another excuse for Americans to spend an entire day eating