T

Taxpayer

(n.) A person who has the government on his payroll

Tourist

(n.) A person in china who doesn't eat dog

Table Saw

(n.) Expensive storage surface used to store unfinished projects in your basement

Team player

(n.) An office worker who isn’t supposed to question authority

Treadmill

(n.) An expensive dusty storage device that moves

TV Ad Director

(n.) One who makes corporate propaganda feel like folksy truthisms

Tax Accountant

(n.) One who takes numbers on pieces of paper, rearranges them and puts them on different pieces of paper

Technical Writer

(n.) A kind of author who writes words and descriptions that no one wants to read (see Ph.D. student)

Time

(n.) Something which is a great healer but a lousy beautician

Tequila

(n.) A drink which makes you feel like a cactus at night and thorns grow inward next morning

Thingy

(n.) Women’s interpretation of any part under a car’s hood

Teenagers

(n.) People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike

Teacher

(n.) A person who swore he would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since

Theory

(n.) A hunch with a college education that you don’t have to prove

Tolerance

(n.) That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all