T

Team player

(n.) An office worker who isn’t supposed to question authority

Teacher

(n.) A person who swore he would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since

Teenagers

(n.) People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike

Thingy

(n.) Women’s interpretation of any part under a car’s hood

Tequila

(n.) A drink which makes you feel like a cactus at night and thorns grow inward next morning

Time

(n.) Something which is a great healer but a lousy beautician

Technical Writer

(n.) A kind of author who writes words and descriptions that no one wants to read (see Ph.D. student)

Tax Accountant

(n.) One who takes numbers on pieces of paper, rearranges them and puts them on different pieces of paper

TV Ad Director

(n.) One who makes corporate propaganda feel like folksy truthisms

Treadmill

(n.) An expensive dusty storage device that moves

Theory

(n.) A hunch with a college education that you don’t have to prove

Table Saw

(n.) Expensive storage surface used to store unfinished projects in your basement

Tourist

(n.) A person in china who doesn't eat dog

Toilet

(n.) Porcelain throne

Taser

(n.) The device you have to buy when your spouse says the spark is gone