T

Troops

(n.) Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets for the 1%

Justin Trudeau

(n.) Angela Merkel's Canadian girlfriend

Traffic Light

(n.) The green light that changes to red as your car approaches

Twins

(n.) Wombmates

Thrift

(n.) Common sense applied to spending

Tact

(n.) The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say

Time

(n.) The arbitrary division of eternity

Tolerance

(n.) That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all

Tears

(n.) Remorse code

Theory

(n.) A hunch with a college education that you don’t have to prove

Teacher

(n.) A person who swore he would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since

Teenagers

(n.) People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike

Thingy

(n.) Women’s interpretation of any part under a car’s hood

Tequila

(n.) A drink which makes you feel like a cactus at night and thorns grow inward next morning