Archives
Diaphragm
(n.) A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels
Budget
(n.) A schedule for going into debt systematically
Specialist
(n.) A man who knows more and more about less and less
Slogan
(n.) A good old substitute for the facts
Parents
(n.) One of the hardships of a minor’s life
Antiques
(n.) Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.
Middle Age
(n.) That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it
Newlywed
(n.) A man who puts up the storm windows the first time his wife suggests it
Shoplifter
(n.) Undocumented Shopper
Creditor
(n.) A man who has a better memory than a debtor
Optometrist
A person you have to see
Useless
(adj.) Telling your dog that he’s adopted
Futuristic
(adj.) bullshitting without consequence
Fat free
(phr.) No extra charge for the fat
Car Pool
(n.) Complicated system of transportation where you always wind up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar